Songs I think everyone should like


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Complaint about Marcus Schwimmer...

...YOU NEVER UPDATE YOUR BLOG ANYMORE. :'(


I've had one of the worst weeks ever in a long time. The weekend wasn't so great either. 

But if you're lucky enough, you're surrounded by people who know how to make everything better, even if they have no idea. It's funny how just the right words can save you.

And I realized that today.


It's funny how I can get so stressed out about schoolwork and exams, then get migraines because I'm stressed out, then get waaay more stressed out because I have those migraines and it makes it that much harder to study and do homework. 
I just want one week to get out of town, go somewhere that I've been longing to go, and just enjoy myself and my surroundings.

I could really use a hot spring right about now.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I never know what to write about anymore.

I apologize for the lack of posting, but if I don't have some quality 'me' time I can't think or put my thoughts in to words the way I want. 

I've been saying for years that I need a ferret in my life, and I finally have him! While he may stink and take craps where I don't want him to take craps, he is so wonderful and adorable. When he's asleep, nothing in the entire world could be cuter or more relieving. I feel like other people think I've made a bad decision getting a ferret because they're smelly and a lot of work to take care of, and I'm also only a sophomore in college and have to take care of this little beast for 8 more years. But I love the responsibility, and I might also be a little obsessed with animals. Sometimes I feel like they get me better than any human could. I also like that they are completely dependent on me because I know that someone really does need me....not to sound like no one needs me around, but I guess it's reassuring. I don't know. A fact about me: I used to want to be a vet (like every other kid) but then I found out that would involve blood and cutting living creatures open. Yuck. I'd never be able to handle it.

Sometimes I wish I could just take a plane to Africa, or any other third world country, but Africa seems to be the one I'm obsessed with lately. But it could never be that easy. 
I hate that not everyone has the opportunity for a great life... that so many people die every day because they aren't able to get sufficient food or a place to stay the night. I know it happens in america, but there is way more opportunity here to get oneself out of that hole than in a third world country. I hate seeing people who are helpless and hurting that can't do anything about it. I hate everyone in this country for being so wealthy and selfish and ignorant. I mean, there was a 23-year war in Uganda that barely anyone here knows about. And would they even care?

I'm depressing myself.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I really, really want to get out of Michigan. 

Mountains...


Package me up and send me back to this, please.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Give me the wrench.

"I know what it's about.

It's just as much the rise as it is the fury of the crash.
It's truly understanding hen you have nothing to lose.
It's the passion of young kids with rocks and bats wearing football helmets chanting and screaming with tears in their eyes and lumps in their throats for equality and for what's right.
It's shameless.
It's the one thing you can comfortably say you'll never, ever regret.
It's the shiver down the spine the first time you draw a big fat X on the back of your hand.
It's what propels the words "fuck it" out of your mouth and through your teeth when throwing caution and your heart into the wind.
It's the tears that well up when you hear the words "I did this all for you". 
It's the moment you lose all composure when you're lying face to face on a bed in a dark room and you say "I love you so fucking hard" and doing your best to push that feeling on to their lips with the passion and intensity of nothing you could ever read in any book.
It's racing through the streets so fast your eyes become slits and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
It's alone nights when you turn off the tv, sit back into the couch, spread your arms out and say, "I am the luckiest person alive."
It's responding with the word "awesome" when asked how you've been...and knowing you've never been more sure of anything else in your life.
It's laughing in the faces of everyone who thought you would have thrown in the towel by now.
It's the light that shines from your best friend's face the moment they realize you are doing your best at being the best friend you could possibly be.
It's being born under a bad sign into a broken family into a broken life and having the ability to look in the mirror while brushing your teeth and truly understanding you live a blessed and beautiful life despite what was expected of you.
It's being ugly inside but fighting it tooth and nail everyday with pure and radiant intentions.
It's making mistakes and realizing that for each and every mistake you made that you've given yourself one more chance to start over.
It's beating the odds.
It's taking the wrench over the belt, because fuck them.
It's going outside and feeling the sun on your face because some little girl is lying in a hospital bed dying from cancer at this very moment and would kill for what you take for granted.
It's knowing how to live a wonderful life without sacrificing the happiness of another.
It's taking pride in the friends you have because they are better and faster and cleaner and more authentic than you will ever be.
It's because you know that you always surround yourself with inspiration and motivation.
It's in the moment of freedom you feel when you stand a bit taller and raise your chest and chin because you know none of these fuckers have killed you yet...
because no matter how hard they tried to break you and smudge you and hate you and make you feel guilty for your life you know that your heart has taken everything they had.
Every word.
Every "I don't love you anymore".
Every "You won't make it".
Every "You're too ugly"...
and you kept marching to the sound of grinding teeth, the steps of your two feet that somehow kept moving and the pounding of your golden heart.

Because we're all still here.
You. Me. Us. All of us.

Marching.
Together.


No matter what these fuckers have thrown.
You go down swinging.

Because I would for each and every one of you.

And that's what it's about.
The spirit of the Fuck You."

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Sometimes I think I should just keep my mouth shut

 So I went to the dentist today to get a cavity fixed and now I can barely open my mouth. 

Ouchies.
:(

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I'm thinking Tiffany's could cure this

I believe something is wrong with me.

I've tried to keep myself busy
but no matter what I'm doing or who I'm doing it with, I'm lonely and useless.
I have tried doing things for other people. nothing.
Tried doing things for myself, things that I've wanted to do for a while. nothing.

Nothing feels right if you're not here and I'm not there.
I'm glad you're keeping busy and happy, but I can't help but be selfish sometimes.

I feel I cannot function properly without you.
I don't know if that's needy and pitiful
or if that's the way it's supposed to feel.
But I'm feeling it.

And it's the most depressing thing ever.


But no matter if I feel this way right now, everything will be right as it should. I just need to learn some fucking patience and wait.

Monday, August 18, 2008

"Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling...

I want a ferret, and I found the perfect one. It's just the wrong time.
It's a good thing we don't always get what we want.
I saw Wall-e today. Cutest movie ever.

Saturday can't come fast enough. Thinking about what lies ahead gets the blood pumping in my veins and super hyped up.

I need more exercise.

Sorry my posts are constantly lacking of anything important.

...I'm calling at night, I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me."